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The year so far. - Piano wire. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The richest girl in town.

[ website | www.laurenwheeler.com ]
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The year so far. [Monday, Jan. 3rd, 2011|11:03 am]
The richest girl in town.
[current mental state |confuzzled]

12/31: Get all four wisdom teeth, including one that is impacted, removed. Insist on nitrous. Briefly sing "Dentist!" from Little Shop of Horrors when my dentist starts making jokes about me being a drooling mess. Sing "Auld Lang Syne" with my dentist and his assistant while he rips out my molars. Spend the rest of the day on the couch on the verge of tears with a mouth full of blood and gauze.

1/1: It hurts to swallow, it hurts to spit, and even with two Vicodin, I have a hard time sleeping. Spend most of the day on the couch watching "Law & Order: SVU." Eventually, after Jason starts being a fanboy and insists, I dress up in lacy lingerie and a waist cincher and a fancy hat bronicablue made and head to a house near Lake Merritt to play my role as Lola Vauntz, a whore in a poetry brothel.

There, I wait three and a half hours with lovely friends, all dressed lusciously and with poems tucked into their bosoms, for the arrival of Neil Gaiman*. He's getting married to Amanda Palmer tomorrow, and we are the last stop of his bachelor party. We will each take a turn sitting on his lap or at his feet, reading him poems.

I take a seat on the arm of Neil's chair and lean in to recite "The Crocodile's Toothache" by Shel Silverstein entirely from memory. It seems appropriate.

I do wish I could get the wifi here to work with my Nook, a present from J which I've brought with me, so that I could read him one of my own poems, but frankly, I'm kind of out of my head with pain and exhaustion by this point. Good, kind people fetch me whiskey since I've skipped a dose of Vicodin to drive here. Zoe Boekbinder, our madam, finds me an icepack, and I manage to stay put until after Amanda has arrived, read her own poem to Neil, and done an impromptu and quite melodramatic performance of "Missed Me" with Jason Webley on accordion.

Then I go home.

1/2: Jason and I visit his parents and bring his niece her Christmas present--which we'd forgotten on the holiday proper. I'm excited to get a guitar into her little hands.

1/3: I'm back at work biting my tongue on client calls. Literally.


* While I'm not usually one to name-drop, this is all so surreal, I kinda can't help myself.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: flukycoda
2011-01-03 07:10 pm (UTC)
OMG YOU HUNG OUT WITH NEIL GAIMAN *dies*
i kept seeing dresden dolls signs downtown, i didn't know he was here too.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-04 01:12 am (UTC)
Indeed.
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[User Picture]From: toy_of_thought
2011-01-03 07:16 pm (UTC)
definitely the best wisdom teeth true story ever

(sorry for the tragical ending though -- feel better)
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[User Picture]From: freakysparks
2011-01-03 07:28 pm (UTC)
wow. fabulous and surreal start to the new year! what a venue. which poem(s) of yours did you have in mind?
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-03 07:37 pm (UTC)
I wasn't entirely sure, though I was thinking of two poems I've written about long-distance relationships. They seemed appropriate considering the couple.
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[User Picture]From: sealwhiskers
2011-01-03 08:11 pm (UTC)
oh, what a pity you had to wade through all that pain which must have totally spoiled the Gaiman experience for you. Also a pity it kept you from reading him some of your own stuff, since I hear that he can be pretty supportive to new writers.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-03 08:26 pm (UTC)
I definitely would have liked to have spoken to him a bit more, but it's been 72 hours since the dentist, and I still can't speak very clearly. My tongue is swollen, my lips are bruised and the corners of my mouth raw, and it still hurts to swallow.
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[User Picture]From: jetspeaks
2011-01-03 08:56 pm (UTC)
That must have been surreal. :)

After my wisdom teeth came out I watched Ghost in the Shell, and I'm still a little scared of watching it again because I think I hallucinated most of the movie. Mind you, I was sick constantly and couldn't keep the vicodin down long enough to dull the pain for the first day. Had to get a shot in the bum.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-03 09:18 pm (UTC)
I hate Vicodin and related painkillers. They usually take me down really quickly--even when I had two broken elbows, I preferred the pain to the pills.

This time? Even two haven't been enough to put me to sleep. Each time I start to doze off, I wake myself up by biting my tongue and drooling.
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[User Picture]From: jetspeaks
2011-01-04 12:17 am (UTC)
Ugh, I'm sorry. It does pass, but never soon enough.

(also, Snoopy icon horribly inappropriate and cheerful. Sorry)
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[User Picture]From: cindymonkey
2011-01-03 09:04 pm (UTC)
fabulous and surreal. i hope your teefs are feeling better. xo
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[User Picture]From: epiphanomaly
2011-01-04 12:43 am (UTC)
Good times were had by all; I really hope your enjoyment wasn't completely ruined because of the unfortunate circumstances!
You were a real trooper!
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[User Picture]From: lilmissnever
2011-01-04 01:16 am (UTC)

I wish that we had more pictures to commemorate the evening. Instead, all that I can really do is wave my arms around and insist that it was all very magical.
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[User Picture]From: epiphanomaly
2011-01-04 06:23 pm (UTC)
I concur! Pics or it didn't happen, right?
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[User Picture]From: whittles
2011-01-04 01:33 am (UTC)
So glad you rallied to go. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it too. pretty amazing. He really loved it, btw. All three of them did.

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[User Picture]From: bravest_unsaid
2011-01-04 03:44 am (UTC)
This story is dually awful and totally badass*.

*Even if Amanda Palmer is racist and ablist and I think Neil Gaiman deserves better, though probably only because I don't know about whatever fucked up shit he has probably said himself.
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[User Picture]From: msjen
2011-01-04 04:08 am (UTC)
I am sorry you are in such pain and I hope you feel better soon and heal quickly.

But, you will totally be able to top anyone's New Year's story, no matter what, in perpetuity. That's practically like having a superpower.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-05 11:05 pm (UTC)
And I thought I already had a great NYE story--from 2007, when I decided in the middle of the night to kidnap my friend vertexnormal and drag him to NYC with me for the holiday. But, yeah, this was more surreal. Also, more painful.
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[User Picture]From: nerak_g
2011-01-04 04:31 am (UTC)
Wow,how did that come together? Pretty awesome. Glad you mustered up the fortitude to do it.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-05 11:03 pm (UTC)
My friend whittles has known Amanda for years and toured with the Dresden Dolls. She sang with them on NYE at their show in SF and called me the next morning after Jason Webley (the other half of Evelyn Evelyn) suddenly found himself tasked with putting together a bachelor party for Neil that night. Originally, I said no, since my mouth was actually full of blood when I answered the phone, but I rallied.
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[User Picture]From: i_dread
2011-01-04 06:51 pm (UTC)
funny, Jason and Amanda were topics of discussion in the house the other day. You definitely had one of those odd David Lynch moments. After working beside Jason, one Summer Music fest, I kind of wanted to ring his bell with his accordion. Not so much now.
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[User Picture]From: fightingwords
2011-01-05 04:10 am (UTC)
Sure. I kept it locked to protect their privacy, but if he wants to see it, he can. Otherwise, you can just send him the text.
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[User Picture]From: whittles
2011-01-05 05:54 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's been publicly announced now, so you can open it up.
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